(Pre-Ethan)"We all have red hair on the inside." - Sherman Alexie @ a reading of his latest work War Dances
Last night I was sprawled out on the couch with my boyfriend and our dog Rita, who got a haircut last Friday. A bad haircut. Maybe I wasn't clear with Ethan the groomer, or maybe he just did whatever he wanted. Hair dressers are funny like that - sometimes they listen, sometimes they black out when you say you only want a trim. It's possible that hair dressers of canines and felines are also wired for selective hearing.
Nonetheless, when we picked Rita up, I almost cried. I certainly cringed, but I almost wept when I saw her shaved butt-cheeks and face. The mohawk we requested looked shitty too. Rita had been transformed into a Poodle-Bat hybrid. A Batoodle.
I felt differently about Rita and I was ashamed. As the weekend progressed, Rita seemed a little withdrawn and I wondered if my unfavorable reaction to her had something to do with it. Then, last night, something came to me when I was petting her and I yelled, "Now I know how Heidi Montag's mother feels!"
When your human or fur-child goes through a dramatic physical change, it feels like part of them is lost - it's not the same thing you've been loving for however long. Conversely, the changed party acts strangely. Think about it. Our personalities form in tow with our physical appearance and must change if we go through some outward transformation. I'd certainly be more bitchy tomorrow if I grew some D's tonight.
Even though Heidi's mom smells like a famewhore, I feel her pain - though mine will be gone in about two weeks.
(Post-Ethan)
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